


Forgave Myself for Being Me

by amethyst-noir (Arbonne)



Series: Heart Made to Be Mine [4]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blindfolds, Collars, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dominant Tony Stark, Established Relationship, IronStrange Bingo 2020, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Protective Tony Stark, Restraints (talked about), Tenderness, submissive Stephen Strange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23629033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbonne/pseuds/amethyst-noir
Summary: We're meant to be, Stephen had once murmured, half-asleep, and Tony had taken the words to heart and tried his best to be worthy of the incredible man who had entrusted his whole being - mind, body and soul - into his safe-keeping.(Stephen has finally reached that stage in life and his relationship with Tony where he can enjoy being himself with the man he loves without fear or shame.)
Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: Heart Made to Be Mine [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1428478
Comments: 14
Kudos: 107
Collections: IronStrange Bingo 2020





	Forgave Myself for Being Me

**Author's Note:**

> This little story is the fourth installment in the _Heart Made to be Mine_ series, which means an established and very loving d/s relationship between Tony and Stephen. Inspired by and written to Madonna's _Medellín_ ; especially this part:
> 
> _We built a cartel just for love  
>  Venus was hovering above us  
> I took a trip that set me free  
> Forgave myself for being me  
> _
> 
> @ironstrangebingo prompt: _Collar_ (which sets up the eventual fill for _Handcuffs_ )

Stephen was _his_. While that wasn't a new realization it still hit Tony like a ton of bricks.

Strong, intelligent, powerful, gorgeous beyond words and Tony's by choice.

He was meditating; sitting in a nest made of blankets and pillows, radiant in the early afternoon sun and looking relaxed and at peace with himself.

The seamless leather collar around his throat, fully exposed thanks to the low-cut and loose sleeveless shirt he was wearing, contrasted beautifully with his pale skin. A few tendrils of his tattoo were also visible, just about hinting at the incredible art that was hidden beneath the thin fabric.

"You're staring," Stephen murmured without opening his eyes. His deep voice sent the usual shivers of pleasure down Tony's spine.

"I can't help it," he answered, glad that meditation time was over. "You're just too nice to look at."

Stephen's eyes stayed closed but his serene face got replaced by a playful smile. "You get to look at me every day, doesn't it get old?"

Tony actually gasped at that. "Getting tired of looking at you? Never." He took the last few steps towards Stephen and slipped a finger between the collar and Stephen's skin. Testing for the thousandth time that it wasn't too tight. Stephen blushed slightly at the intimate caress but tipped his head back to expose himself fully to Tony's tender mercies. "Keep them closed," Tony requested softly as Stephen tried to look at him. "Please," he added and rewarded Stephen's compliance with a kiss.

"Having your wicked way with me but denying me the pleasure of looking at you in return. That's cruel. I didn't think you had it in you."

He was still smiling when Tony pushed him backwards into their nest. "I'm a well of constant surprises," he agreed absently, moving his fingers from Stephen's throat to the vivid bruise Tony had put on his collarbone only yesterday. Instead of a flinch there was a moan when Tony put some pressure on it. "What do you want, baby?"

Stephen slipped up for a moment to send Tony a look full of scorn before he remembered his orders. "Whatever you want," he whispered. It wasn't lip service, Tony knew, Stephen really meant the words.

_I'm yours to do with as you wish._

Oh, how far Stephen had come since those first days when he'd flinched at pretty much everything and barely managed to get a word out as soon as Tony got his hands on him. It had been nice for his ego before he realized the true reason behind it, yes, but Tony preferred the newer, self-assured, relaxed version of his lover so much more. Pliant and fucked-out but still sassy and kind of bitchy when he wanted to be - Stephen was truly magnificent now that he was finally comfortable with himself and secure in the knowledge that no one, apart from Tony, would ever touch his body again.

_We're meant to be_ , Stephen had once murmured, half-asleep, and Tony had taken the words to heart and tried his best to be worthy of the incredible man who had entrusted his whole being - mind, body and soul - into his safe-keeping.

"I think," he began carefully while stroking over Stephen's eyelids. "That you need help with keeping your eyes closed." A quick look around revealed the black silk he'd used to tie Stephen up last night. "Shhh, it's okay," he soothed when Stephen made a distressed sound at that. "I've got it." He put the silk over Stephen's eyes to communicate his plan. "Do you trust me?"

"Always." He raised his head just enough to allow Tony to tie the two ends together loosely. "You could blindfold and chain me up for your pleasure and I would trust you. One word from you would be enough."

Oh, Stephen and his wicked imagination, tantalizing ideas delivered in that deep and smooth voice of his. If Tony didn't already love him more than life itself he would have fallen for him all over again right here and now.

That Stephen was not only willingly surrendering to him but has also started to offer up his own fantasies was one of Tony's biggest accomplishments since he'd started to coax Stephen's submissive nature out of the shell he'd grown out of necessity after the bitter disappointment and deep hurt in his younger years.

"Not right now," he said after a moment of indulging the fantasy. He, himself, was still at little bit sore from last night and - unbelievable as it might be - Tony had no desire for sex for the time being. He couldn't imagine that Stephen felt any different, really, not after _that_ workout. He just wanted to laze around and if Stephen curled up next to him like the cat Tony accused him to be from time to time? Even better. Stephen needed a day of nothing but rest and relaxation even more than Tony himself did. A quick check down showed him that Stephen wasn't even a little bit aroused - just like Tony himself he was still spent from last night. Good. Tony took great pride in exhausting his younger and insanely fit lover to this degree.

He settled down next to Stephen and tugged, pushed and prodded until he had his head in Tony's lap, half of his face still hidden away under black silk. Tony gently scratched Stephen's beard before making sure that the silk was tight enough to prevent sight but loose enough to not leave marks on Stephen's pale and sensitive skin . "Everything feeling good, sweetheart?" He absently brushed over the slight scar on Stephen's left temple - one of the legacies of their fight against Thanos on Titan - before slipping two fingers under the collar again. The mark always served as a reminder that Stephen, for all his resilience and magical strength was just a man who needed love and protection just like everybody else. Tony was determined to be that shield.

A contented hum was the answer. Tony decided to let it be and not insist on a verbal answer. Stephen's body told him everything he needed to know right now anyway. He continued to pet and stroke Stephen's face, throat and what he could reach of his chest.

Stephen broke the silence after a couple of minutes. "So your devious plan is to blindfold me, pet me and let me nap in your lap?" He shifted around for a bit and reached up with his right hand until Tony caught it, entwined their fingers and rested their joined hands on Stephen's stomach.

Tony's left hand continued to caress Stephen's skin under the tunic, absently brushing over the long and deep scar right above the heart. That one was the scariest out of all the awful marks on Stephen's body but contrary to his previous plans Tony didn't want it covered up anymore. He'd learned to appreciate the permanent visual reminder of just how resilient Stephen was.

"Is this a complaint?" he asked mildly, already knowing the answer. He played a bit if Stephen's nipple and grinned when he got a shiver for his efforts.

"Hmm, no. You may continue," Stephen allowed graciously. "I will probably fall asleep if you do it for too long, though. And stop trying to get me hard. It's not going to work. You broke me last night. Try again later. Much later." He didn't even bother to move a muscle, knowing that Tony would stop at just a word.

Tony did exactly that and bent down to capture the tempting lips in a kiss. Stephen let him in easily and Tony took his time kissing him, claiming him in the most tender way possible. "That's kind of the plan, baby," he confessed afterwards. Meditation was good but no substitute for real rest in Tony's opinion, no matter what Stephen tried to tell him.

"Devious," Stephen murmured. "I like it."

"Sleep now." Tony put just the tiniest hint of a command into the words and felt Stephen relax even more at that. Later, he would take out Stephen for a nice walk in the late evening sun, followed by an intimate dinner for two, his collar and every last tendril of the tattoo hidden underneath layers of clothes and the Cloak. Some things were for Tony and Tony alone to see and play with. Secrecy was what Stephen needed for that part of their lives together and Tony was more than happy to provide it; just like anything else Stephen needed and wanted.

Afterwards? Who knew. Maybe he would take Stephen up on his offer. Maybe something else would come up.

"Love you," he whispered and got another beautiful smile for his confession. He continued to stroke and pet Stephen until he relaxed into true sleep. "We'll play later," he promised his resting lover while looking at the thin and fragile seeming wrists. He didn't yet know how he could fulfill Stephen's fantasy without the risk of hurting him but he would find a way.

Whatever Stephen wanted and if that was an evening spent in chains instead of silk bonds? Tony could and would find a way to make it possible without pain and risk of injury. He adjusted the silk over Stephen's eyes once again in the hope that it might help him to sleep better. "Everything for you, beloved," he promised once again, bent down to kiss their joined hands and leaned back into the nest of pillows to rest for a little bit himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Ha, it took a while but finally I managed to sneak in a tiny reference that they switch. I'm so proud of myself. There'll be at least one more part in this series (the handcuffs I mentioned above) but I have no idea when that will come. The non-kinky stories will return soon, promise.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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